Everyone has different ideals when it comes to their body and what they want to do with it. Everything is about perspective and a lot of it comes from how you were raised. I didn’t get a lot of sex talks (I honestly don’t remember having one at all) and I loved my grandfather to death (love you and miss you papa), but he was a horrible communicator and he always said so. Through all of his stories (ramblings mostly) I didn’t realize until I was older that he was basically trying to tell me that he married my grandmother because she wasn’t easy (among other totally valid reasons I’m sure).
So what did I take from that?
Well, as I’ve stated before I consider myself to be more spiritual than religious so I don’t view sex before marriage as a “sin”. I like to view it more as a practice of self love and being conscious of your energy and who you are sharing that with. I feel like I need to break this topic down into a few sub topics also so…
Then vs. Now
I think of sex very differently now than I did when I was younger simply because I respect and have a lot more love for myself than I did then. I really believe in sex being a connection that should only be shared with someone who respects you. I believe it is an energy transfer and I somewhat believe in soul-ties. Those beliefs are what lead me to being more careful with who I exchange my energy with. “Energy” is becoming an overused term but its real and if you’re aware, you can feel when someones, or your own, is off. I try to stay away from low energy and low vibrating people [and yes I do realize that sometimes I am that low vibrating individual too : ) ] as much as possible because being around them can bring you down to a level you’re uncomfortable with and throw off your sync so you definitely don’t want to be sleeping with them and exchanging energy with a person who is vibrating at that level. When you love yourself and realize that your body is a temple you will want to only let people in who match your energy, and that someone doesn’t necessarily have to be your forever person. I think you can have fulfilling sexual experiences with people that respect, understand, and are on the same wave as you so the energy exchange can be positive as opposed to draining.
Can I still get a husband?
I mean… I hope so! No but seriously, I enjoy sex and I want to be with someone who enjoys it too. Sex should not be the foundation of any relationship…but it is important. Well to me at least. I wouldn’t even want to marry a man who looked down on me for not being a virgin or previously having sex. To me that attitude stems from immaturity and insecurity (unless it is for religious reasons of course). Hopefully, we are able to take the sexual experiences we have had over the years to get to know ourselves better, what we like/don’t like to do, what we like/don’t like done to us, and be able to be better in tune with our sexual being so we can communicate those wants/needs to our partner and have them reciprocated. When I get married, I want a man who is far from a virgin ( I need a pro, ok!) and I would hope his view of me wouldn’t be skewed because I’m not a virgin either. I want us to be able to connect on all levels; mentally, spiritually, and physically. Hopefully I meet someone who satisfies all the above (but 2 out of 3 ain’t bad)
So now what?
The flesh is weak but the mind should not be. Most of us succumb to temptation in many forms and sex is one of them. When you’re younger its easy to get “lost in the sauce” and let sex consume you. When this happens its harder to gauge the traits that make a person attractive and a good match outside of that. So do I think sex before marriage is wrong? No. Do I think you should be selective and wait until you can handle the consequences that come with sex? Absolutely, but life doesn’t always work like that. So overall, I think it is most important to love and respect yourself because when you do that, you will be more careful with who you give your cat too and save yourself a lot of heartache and F**kboy scenarios.