Ever since I was little, I’ve had this idea of what adulthood should look like. For a woman, heels, blazer, skirt or trousers, and nice bag as a substitute for the mans briefcase.
I received this image from seeing my mother work a corporate job my whole life as well as what the media portrays as the idea of the “corporate woman.” So, in my mind, I’m like, right. Okay. Piece of cake.
High School ✔
Bachelors Degree ✔
Then after college I feel like I had a misstep and tumbled into the military. Like, fell hard and took three years to get up. Nevertheless… Experience ✔
Masters Degree ✔
So I got those degrees and accomplishments, right? and now I feel like I’m powering up like Goku about to go Super Saiyan in the corporate world because I have some information on my resume… but no. It’s not enough. Its not enough experience most of the times.
“While your resume was very impressive, we’ve decided to…”
However, after three months of unemployment, I find myself working for the State Government. I finally don’t have to wear a uniform or anything that matches my coworkers. I wear a blazer on top of my blouse. I have my slacks and if I’m feeling froggy, I’ll throw on a dress under my sweater. But now, the routine has set it. I’ve been late twice and they’ve noticed. The drive each day is tiresome, and will there be any reward from it beside the paycheck?
What brought me to write this post was me looking at an email of a biker who delivers food for this food truck. The article read how even when the weather was in the negatives, these bikers still delivered the food. And it arrived hot.
“Nope. Not me.”
But then I thought, he probably doesn’t have a choice. That’s his job! Then my mind wandered to him riding his bike to his apartment, and walking the bike up the stairs and either leaving it in the hallway, or bringing it into his residence. Then taking off all of his cold weather gear, his nose still red from the wind, and then he settles down.
Yes. I thought all that.
Then my mind went to the thought of him living a fun life. He’s not tied down to a 9-5 and also gets to see all the different crevices of the city that he delivers to. Its a possibility.
I’m a person who doesn’t like to be tied down (the military among other things) and likes freedom, but at the same time, I want security. And there is a sense of jealousy, or deep hidden desire to live the life of the biker. Now, I know I made up a story for him in my mind even though he might be on his last two dollars and getting evicted the end of this month, but the freedom I feel that comes from a job like a delivery person( or anything not a 9-5), it seems like living a life is the first priority and work isn’t. He might be a delivery person during the day, bartender at night, and drummer for a band that plays at your local hole in the wall on the weekends. That life of what looks like carefree-ness is so appealing to me.
Okay, prime example. The cast of Vanderpump Rules, majority of the people on the show, besides the Founder, Lisa Vanderpump, are all bartenders, servers, or hostesses. They all live, what is portrayed on TV, to be a pretty decent life, then they take a big trip every season. Now, I know, I know, they are getting paid to be on the show and meanwhile doing their job at Vanderpump’s restaurant, but sheesh. IF they are struggling, they make it look sexy. (Not really. Channeling K. Dot.) (And not really a prime example.)
But anyways, I don’t know if I could do it. Those people that drop everything and travel or make a living off their passion like art, writing or music; there’s so much jelly on my biscuit. If I could drop everything and just write for a living I would.
So whats stopping you?
Student loans. Life. Car payment. Life. Food. Life. Living. Life.
In my eyes, it just isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’ve read where young graduates take “gap years” or they drop everything and travel and live their life blogging… First of all, those headlines are super misleading and they have ma and pop in the background throwing big coins at them and I need to find someone with the same debts as me and how they over came.
But I digress… I just simply find it hard to want to live the life I want when society has made it so hard for us. Everything is expensive and if it is reasonable, you’re probably still paying something else off so its like you’re never really free. A never ending circle of owing/needing money. Like being at a crossroads and seeing where you want to go, but Siri is telling you to stay on the current route because there is a strong chance its more beneficial.
Hope no one was expecting me to have a solution in the end cause I don’t. This was more so a venting/quick thought that came into my mind. But I will say, while I may not find complete freedom, i’m believing that some day I can figure this whole writing for a living thing out and get my book published. If J.K. Rowling can do it, so can it.
-And that’s that on that.
*Do people still say bite me?